Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A little on edge

(HOLY CRAP AN ACTUAL POST ABOUT SOMETHING)

Recently in my life I have been a little bit on edge about a few things, and in turn it has made me slightly depressed and a little bit inconsiderent of other people as I have had a little too much on the mind. I have the crazy clown shell on the outside but I sometimes use it as a cover up to escape somethings. I'm mainly making this post to put my life in some sort of writing in hopes by looking at it I'll see how I should be looking at things in this moment of life (of course I wouldn't mind some thoughts from you guys, I do respect the opinions of my friends).

There are the things like 1 or 2 classes being a downer, or my love hate relationship with work, but thats to be expected on a daily basis. Mainly its come down to 3 things that are bothering me.

1. The start of my application for York Film is right around the corner and the closer I get to the date of finding out if I'm getting in or not is making me more nervous and anxious.

2. I'm getting tired of being single. It's no secret that I'm not the best when it comes to ladies, and I think its because I haven't been mature enough in this respect. I've always had way to much self doubt to even try and have a relationship with someone, but I feel I'm starting to put confidence into myself more than I used to.

3. Problems 1 and 2 inflict on each other because perspective location for the next year would greatly influence how I go about conquering problems 1 and 2.

Mainly my problem is I dunno if I should get too attached to Winnipeg or not. I have the feeling to move forward and explore other places and try new things, but I don't want to alienate people here with that feeling, especially if I end up not going anywhere for a few years yet. I also don't think the "wait and see" approach isn't the best thing to do in this situation because I can't stop life from happening till I find out if I've been accepted into film school or not. I don't want to deny any chances that are given to me of any sort, whether they are from Winnipeg or Toronto.

It's all very confusing and somewhat stressful, so if Ive seemed down in the past little while thats why. Frankly I'm just glad to get it off my chest, and seeing my problems in text definitely helps.

I wouldn't mind a hug though.

4 comments:

  1. >>It's all very confusing and somewhat stressful

    Dude join the club. My mom wants me to go to post-secondary in either Winnipeg or Calgary. The problem is, I know Calgary doesn't have an animation college, and I'm pretty sure Winnipeg doesn't have one either. The only animation college close to either that I know of is in Drumheller, but the idea of being out on my own is daunting, so now I'm in a huge dilemma.

    I was also maybe thinking of becoming a train operator.

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  2. Aww :(
    1. I'm sure you'll get it, but on the off chance you don't, remember if you want something bad enough, it will happen, just maybe not exactly when you want to. Don't worry about something you can't control.
    2. Put yourself out there and you'll be surprised what happens. When you are most venerable you could get hurt but it's hard for good things to happen when you've walled yourself in.
    3. All I can say is, remember that things in Winnipeg don't have to be temporary. Even if you do end up moving, things could change. Don't stop something from happening if you're scared you'll have to deal with maybe ending it. "You miss 100% of the shots you never take" and it's the same with everything else, try even if it may not end perfectly, you learn and grow from falling.
    4. Why didn't you just say you wanted a hug? *Giant hug*
    I believe this comment is long enough now, not to mention full of clichés, Mrs Zacharuk would have a fit.

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  3. *SUPER HUG*

    So like, I get the whole, "Should I start a relationship when I'm about to leave?" I totally had that conversation with myself a bajillion times. But the thing is, You can never enter a relationship with definite expectations; at least that's how I think of it. It might not last until then, but even if it did and you decided to break it off, the point of it is to love the one you're with right now. And I think it would be so worth it to have a relationship even if it ends in heartbreak. And really, if you just take risks with people, it pays off in the end. I would know XD The greater the risk, the greater the reward. I know it's also a greater failure if it doesn't work.. but sometimes it's worth the chance. And never frown my friend, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile ;)

    And hey, if you don't get into York, no one ever said you couldn't try again next year. Or the year after. Or as many tries as it takes. If you fight for it long enough, you'll get it, I know it. And also, you could move all over the place, but that doesn't mean you're cutting off all ties here. Even when friends far away don't keep in touch for long periods of time, they can still be close friends (I know this from experience too), and you'll still have your friends and family here when you come back to visit :D

    It'll be okay Peter :)

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  4. like they say good friend come and go but derek will stay in ur heart

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