A little on edge

(HOLY CRAP AN ACTUAL POST ABOUT SOMETHING)

Recently in my life I have been a little bit on edge about a few things, and in turn it has made me slightly depressed and a little bit inconsiderent of other people as I have had a little too much on the mind. I have the crazy clown shell on the outside but I sometimes use it as a cover up to escape somethings. I'm mainly making this post to put my life in some sort of writing in hopes by looking at it I'll see how I should be looking at things in this moment of life (of course I wouldn't mind some thoughts from you guys, I do respect the opinions of my friends).

There are the things like 1 or 2 classes being a downer, or my love hate relationship with work, but thats to be expected on a daily basis. Mainly its come down to 3 things that are bothering me.

1. The start of my application for York Film is right around the corner and the closer I get to the date of finding out if I'm getting in or not is making me more nervous and anxious.

2. I'm getting tired of being single. It's no secret that I'm not the best when it comes to ladies, and I think its because I haven't been mature enough in this respect. I've always had way to much self doubt to even try and have a relationship with someone, but I feel I'm starting to put confidence into myself more than I used to.

3. Problems 1 and 2 inflict on each other because perspective location for the next year would greatly influence how I go about conquering problems 1 and 2.

Mainly my problem is I dunno if I should get too attached to Winnipeg or not. I have the feeling to move forward and explore other places and try new things, but I don't want to alienate people here with that feeling, especially if I end up not going anywhere for a few years yet. I also don't think the "wait and see" approach isn't the best thing to do in this situation because I can't stop life from happening till I find out if I've been accepted into film school or not. I don't want to deny any chances that are given to me of any sort, whether they are from Winnipeg or Toronto.

It's all very confusing and somewhat stressful, so if Ive seemed down in the past little while thats why. Frankly I'm just glad to get it off my chest, and seeing my problems in text definitely helps.

I wouldn't mind a hug though.

I am going to make a serious news post.

But not today, I am too tired.